Apples? The Wit of Dorothy Parker


Dorothy Parker once attended a Halloween party where she noticed a group of people around a tub of water. She asked what they were doing and was told they were ducking for apples.

“There, but for a typographical error,” she said, “is the story of my life.”

Some other quotes of Parker’s that I am a fan of (but are not stolen from another site):

If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.

A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.

Said when leaving a hospital after having an abortion It servers me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think. Parker’s answer when asked to use the word horticulture during a game of Can-You-Give-Me-A-Sentence?

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Refering to Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

The transatlantic crossing was so rough the only thing that I could keep on my stomach was the first mate.

You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.

I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I’m under the table,
after four I’m under my host.

I don’t care what is written about me so long as it isn’t true.

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

I could go on and on, this girl was a master. Check her out sometime…


~ by herodotuswept on November 26, 2007.

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